QUITE A PRODUCTION

The Pirates’ scoreboard is worth its own entry.

For the lineups and other text, they use condensed lettering that’s almost impossible to read. That’s a major minus for the park.

But their video person gets the points back for creativity. They use different graphics each inning to display the batter. One inning they showed each successive Pirate batter entering one of those photo booths and then displayed six pictures from that; the next inning they drew each batter on an Etch-A-Sketch; the next inning they had anagrams for each batter. And it went on and on.

And the video skits are insane. They began their dot race on the screen, with four slices of flavored dough apparently racing to invade Pittsburgh (please don’t ask, I have no idea). Then the figures dash onto the field to finish the race. One was sprinting for the finish line, but the Pirate Parrot tripped him, giving victory to another one. The experience was like watching the Keystone Kops while on hallucinogens.

They also had a video sketch that replicated the final episode of The Sopranos, with the Pirate Parrot as Tony. Various costumed mascots entered the diner — until the screen went black, and the whole stadium booed.